lying is, as lying does.....

So I was in Vegas with George. Hold that thought.
One of my favorite pastimes is lying. I am a pretty accomplished liar. I love it when people tell me that I don't lie well. I just look at them and think "Oh you poor dear." The first time I went to Vegas I went for 5 days. Overkill, you might say. But I didn't know what I was in for and I was following George's lead. The really odd thing being, I don't care for gambling. It seems like an outrageous waste of money. Yeah, lets play some game where I have to add really fast in my head and give away cash. Huh?? I find drinking to be much more worth my while. So there I was, day 3 of Vegas. I was getting the hang of it. In fact, I was experiencing all that Vegas had to offer. Rock climbing and dirt bike riding during the day (i.e. 5:00pm) and swingers clubs and strip bars at night. Cool!!! I might have mentioned my incredible ability to hold my liquor. This makes Vegas extra fun.
So George and I have been out for most of the night. It is about 3am. Things are really starting to roll. We started off the evening at Cheetas. We had a friend who "worked" there. And I mean worked!!! The key is to go to the strip clubs fairly early, 10pm. This way its not super packed and you can chat the girls up. I love that. Anyway, George and I roll into The Hard Rock Hotel. We scoot our way to the bar and managed to wrangle some seats. George and I had it down to a system. We would get about three cocktails in and then scope the adjacent drinkers. Do they look like a party??? Gullible?? So stupid that they have it coming?? The best is when a guy would hit on me....instant target.
So this guy starts chatting with me. We will call him Ron. I am responsive. He eyes George. George is talking to someone else on the other side of him. Ron and I quickly get to introductions. "My name is Tracy." Nudge to George. "This is my brother Todd." Rons eyes light up. Houston, we have a live one. Ron keeps talking about medical sales or something. He has moved his hand to just above my knee. I grab his fingers and say "Ouch". He is concerned. Are you hurt?? I pull up the edge of my skirt to reveal a huge bruise I acquired the day before while rock climbing. (Note Readers: Large amounts of alcohol consumed increase body's ability to bruise.) "Oh my god are you ok?" The nasty wheels in my head are crankin. I look at him with my best wounded bird imitation, "Todd, gets mad sometimes." He looks confused and then glances at George, who is completely oblivious. "But he is your brother??" Ron struggles. I look at him with slightly watery eyes (easy when you are hammered) and say "We love each other...but...". Ron is getting pissed. Ha Ha. He stands up and walks around to George, who wasn't really making much progress on his end. Ron practically shouts "How can you hit a girl...much less your sister?!". George looks at me. I look and nod. He slowly smiles and turns to Ron "She deserved it, she shut me down that night." Ron is totally sputtering and looks ready to swing. I hop up, grab George's hand and start making for the door. "Come on bro...they don't understand how we feel about one another" planting a wet kiss on him. George is laughing like a delirious monkey and taunting Ron as we push through the front door to the new morning....